Stories

What in the world is object permanence and how does it relate to cleaning?

Let’s see if this story sounds familiar to you:

Ah, the weekend reset. All parents have been there- the day you reset your house and schedule. For some parents, it is a hassle, while others find it calming-everything in its place, the smell of cleaner filling the house. Your children help with cleaning their rooms, the best they know how. Sure, they might play with the lost toys they found, but eventually, things get accomplished. You do a room check a couple of times, explaining to them the parts of their room they missed, but eventually it’s a success.

If you are a parent of a child with neurodivergence, you might find this story frustrating because it doesn’t seem realistic. While the story discusses the challenges of getting children to listen, it omits the struggle of neurodivergence and cleaning. It tackles common problems with cleaning but forgets that not every family is commonplace. There are true challenges to moving items around and cleaning that affect some children. For parents, it’s not always as easy as, “go clean your room.”

For many children on the spectrum, a lack of understanding of object permanence affects the way they clean.

Before we continue, let me explain the concept of object permanence. I first learned this term from a cleaning video I came across online. In the video, the man explained the definition of object permanence, and suddenly, everything clicked for me. I realized I wasn’t the only one who saw this connection—finally, it had a name!

For neurotypical individuals, items they own can be put away in their rightful places, and they understand that these objects are still present, even if they are out of sight. They understand object permanence. They know that although they cannot see, hear, or touch the object, it still exists. Yes, we may occasionally forget where we placed things, but that is common for everyone.

Many neurodivergent children (and adults) often struggle with object permanence; for them, it is truly a case of “out of sight, out of mind.”(Fagan 2023)

Let me introduce a concept called “pile cleaning.” I’m not sure where I first heard the term or if I coined it myself, but it fits perfectly. Instead of putting things away, some people tend to group similar items in piles. They may also arrange items on dressers, bookshelves, or even the floor.

For neurotypical individuals, a room filled with piles doesn’t appear “clean.” They see items that need to be put away. In contrast, many neurodivergent individuals find comfort in these piles, as they represent order. Seeing items helps them REMEMBER what they own and reassures them that they won’t forget anything.

While this this may not apply to every neurodivergent child, I believe it resonates with many of them.

This story is personal because we have struggled with this in our household over the years. When I say we struggled, I mean I struggled. I didn’t see surfaces as clean, I saw them as disorganized and needing order. In my child’s mind, their room WAS clean. The floor was vacuumed, the bed was covered, and all their important items were displayed …just…in…case…they needed to remember that they were there.

Now, his blog post isn’t actually about object permanence; rather, it highlights a little quirk I’ve observed over the years during our weekly reset. That being said, sometimes it’s helpful to have a couple of tips to help yourself and your children. I have a couple listed below:

1. If a collection of items gets out of hand, try getting transparent containers! It quickly organizes without covering up a child’s possessions.

2. Make sure your child knows the floor is the most important thing that needs to be cleaned. Have a clear goal helps them manage the cleaning.

3. If your child creates piles of items along the wall on the floor, try to make space for them! In our home, we often collect books and stuffed animals, so we set up a little reading area with a rug where they can pile their books. As long as the items stay on the rug, everyone is happy!

As you head into the upcoming week, I encourage you to reach out and talk to someone you may have considered “different.” You might be pleasantly surprised by how much you can learn from them and how their unique perspectives can enrich your life.

-Project Homeward Downes

If you would like to read more about object permanence and ADHD, below is a really cool blog post I found.

Fagan, J. (2023, April 28). Object permanence and ADHD: the “Out of sight, out of mind” phenomenon explained. ATTN Center. https://attncenter.nyc/object-permanence-and-adhd-the-out-of-sight-out-of-mind-phenomenon-