I was sitting in a crowded auditorium with the lights dimmed, eagerly waiting for the school play to begin. The room was quiet when I heard him. He was seated right in front of me and had just stood up from his seat.
“Teacher, Teacher, hi!” I recognized the voice immediately—let’s call him Trevor. Although he wasn’t in my class, he was a student in the grade that I taught. Trevor had a loud personality, which made him memorable and endearing to me. I realized I hadn’t spoken to him properly that day, and it had been a couple of hours since I last saw him.
Trevor’s voice progressively got louder, “Teacher, Teacher, what are you doing?” I heard several people ‘sh’ him so his teacher sat him back in his seat. Throughout the play, Trevor would occasionally make too much noise, turn around and try to talk to me or kick the seat in front of him. He did all this without realizing the effect that it had on other people around him.
You look at this situation and immediately think that Trevor’s parents/teachers aren’t doing their job correctly.
Trevor was old enough to sit still, he should be quiet, but he just wasn’t being trained properly. After all, it’s this generation of kids, right?
You can choose to view the situation in that way, or you can decide to show compassion. I didn’t know much about Trevor aside from what I observed and my experience with similar children, but I did know this: Trevor was creative and funny, and he thrived on positive reinforcement. Unfortunately, he was constantly bombarded with harsh words and corrections, and was in trouble a lot, especially at school. Did he require a lot of redirection and accommodations in the classroom? Absolutely.
I could have chosen to focus on the things he lacked, but I chose to focus on how he thrived!
As a parent and teacher experienced with neurodivergence, I understand the challenges involved. ADHD can bring a whirlwind of emotions, both positive and negative, and I feel like I’ve heard it all. I’ve faced unkind words and misunderstandings from adults who didn’t grasp my struggles. Conversely, I’ve also comforted parents in tears, overwhelmed by their frustration and the hurtful remarks they’ve encountered. Because at the end of the day, the parents already know their child, and saying hurtful things to them does NOTHING for the parents or the child.
In this blog post, I am not going to give any educational insight into ADHD or even talk about behavioral problems and what to do, I am only here to encourage you to look at it differently. Do you have a child in your life that reminds you of Trevor? I encourage you to find what they love, find their creativity, and help them foster it!
As a homeschool mom of Neurodivergence., I sometimes need encouragement to stay positive. However, I often remember the times I have worked with other parents and witnessed their frustration. As a devout Christian, I am reminded of how we are meant to treat others with kindness and compassion.
After all, the Bible doesn’t tell us how we should be treated, it tells us how to treat other people. That includes children.
With Neurodivergent children, there can also be behavioral and sensory issues, but that’s a topic for another time. Having ADHD or any other spectrum disorder is not an excuse for poor behavior; it is simply one factor among many. I still believe in guiding these children in the right direction and I pray for them regularly.
In the story of Trevor, I made it a point to have a conversation with him every day. I discovered that, in addition to being extremely creative, he also loved doing things for others! We started playing a fun game during recess where he would run up to kids he didn’t know very well and give them a big compliment. This brought both him and the other kids a lot of joy, even if it was just for a little while. I hope he continues this positive trend.
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