The struggles of social adaption with kids on the spectrum.
(Names have been changed for privacy purposes.)
Josie wasn’t adapting. She struggled in almost every aspect of her social environment. She couldn’t make friends or hold a conversation with anyone. Even though she was only in first grade, Josie was flagged as “different” by the other kids. She didn’t understand that conversations were two-sided, and she couldn’t find anyone to share her common interests. Her teacher did not understand modern educational approaches or diagnoses, so she inadvertently treated Josie differently than the other students.
As a teacher, I struggled to watch the dynamic in that classroom, but I didn’t know enough about Josie to provide any guidance. After a while, through some observation, I found that Josie loved art and anything princess-related. I made it a point to talk to her at recess and ask questions about her artwork. She eventually started coming to me and mentioning abstract concepts about art or the latest Disney movie. Over time, Josie’s grandmother and teacher understood that Josie might have needed extra servicing and accommodations at school. Putting that into practice, Josie got a lot of help, but Josie still wasn’t happy.
This is the turning point of the story: enter a little girl named Charity. Charity was the most extroverted girl I had ever met. She was like a positive ray of sunshine — you couldn’t be sad around her.
I bet you can guess what happened next. Charity took the time to get to know Josie when no other kid would, and even though she wasn’t interested in her hobbies, she tried to be. She listened to her little ramblings and tried to guide her in conversations. Eventually, over time, Josie began to develop a feel for her surroundings.
She started to be interested in OTHER people. Josie started adapting to social situations, even if she wasn’t as comfortable. All through the power of kindness and understanding.
In the education world, “adapting to social situations” is a hot topic among educators. More often than not, teachers and parents will throw their kids into the “ring” so to speak, and expect them to adapt. But, what if they don’t adapt?
We have all heard the term “social butterfly.” These individuals often move effortlessly from one conversation to another, exuding confidence and joy. However, for many people, engaging in social conversations can be a struggle. That said, we all adapt to our social environments; we find our rhythm. We often classify ourselves as introverted, extroverted, or a blend of the two. As adults, we often recognize our limits, knowing when we need time to ourselves and when we desire socialization.
PRACTICE VARIOUS SOCIAL SCENARIOS
From my experience as both an educator and a parent, I have learned that practicing conversations is incredibly helpful. If you have a child who struggles with social situations, consider helping them practice! Make a game out of it! Create various scenarios they might encounter and monitor their responses. You might be surprised by how insightful they can be. I’ve done this at home and in the classroom, and there have been times when the kids provided better answers than I could have come up with myself. Through practice, you gain valuable insight into your child’s thoughts, even if it’s just for a brief moment.
Help them Practice Social Situations!
Make a game out of it!
(The above picture contains task cards you can use with your child. Link to my TPT store at the bottom of the page.)
I am not qualified to diagnose any spectrum disorder, nor do I have a little girl named Charity to help bridge the social gap. However, we both possess the power of kindness, which we can instill in our children to guide them through life.
I encourage you to reach and spread kindness and try to reach someone in your life that you normally wouldn’t connect with. Be the little Charity in someone’s life.
– Project Homeward Downes
